Horrible day yesterday, told myself to just let it happen
So yesterday was fucking rough, I was already feeling down and got a letter from the job centre saying my money will not be stopped (I need to apply for hardship which is reduced money). So called Samaritans for 20 mins that somewhat helped then went to see them and they where not there. Then came home wrote my suicide note and made backup copies and set up my plan to end my life. I then attempted to hang myself for maybe about 5 seconds and just wispered to my self "just let it happen" it then started to hurt more then I thaught it would and so I stopped and broke down. By that time my parents where home and had to put everything away and pretend nothing happened. The scariest thing is for the 1st 3 seconds or so of closing my eyes and letting myself die I felt so peaceful. I have an appointment with my therapist 1st thing Monday I just hope I can hold out untill then
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