Just got fired from my job

Made a stupid mistake, lapse in judgement. 100% to blame and this suckksssss. Just bought a house, wife is pregnant. Send me good energy please and anyone with tips from experience/ good advice for staying mentally focused in the new job hunt would be appreciated.

Thanks!
Alkaid13
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Comments

  • So sorry to hear this, if I may sound a little cheesy for a moment, I really do believe everything happens for a reason, and this can be a positive opportunity for you in a new job. We're all here for you, and I send my best wishes and hopes that you find yourself in a great job soon.

    Take care, and blessings to you and your family.
    DummyAlkaid13gguenotBrawnKingKobra
  • DeeDee Adelaide
    Oh, that really sucks. Seems harsh to boot you after one error, but I guess it depends on the scale. I've found from personal experience that @sean.ray is right. Most of the time the universe balances out and things like this do happen for a reason.

    My practical advice - as someone who has dealt a lot with the unemployed - is to bang on out the job apps immediately. Any kind of break you take will end up stretching longer, and becomes harder to bring a halt to (and also to explain to future prospective employers).

    Good luck. :-)
    MichelleAlkaid13gguenotDaveyMacTravis
  • MichelleMichelle California
    I'm so sorry to hear this! I know it might be hard to truly believe right now, but things will get better and you will be employed again very soon. Keep your chin up & stay focused and positive.
    DummyAlkaid13gguenot
    "Scorch the damn earth before you." - Liz Taylor, AHS
  • HatorianHatorian Dagobah
    1. File your unemployment, welfare, whatever you are eligible for immediately and as soon as allowed. you dont  know how long you will be out of work so get all these applications sorted immediately. You've been paying into this system your whole life, definitely use it. 

    2. As said above do not rest or take a break unless you really mentally need to or have the funds to do it. you need to start pumping out job applications. as many as you can each day. 

    3. take all the interviews you can even if you're not sure about the job. Practice makes perfect. interview as much as you can as it will make you much better when the "big interview" comes. 


    all the best mate. what do you do? and where in CA you located?
    DeegguenotDaveyMacbrr8760akritenbrinkDummyTravisTaraC73
    No Half Measures....
  • Hatorian said:

    1. File your unemployment, welfare, whatever you are eligible for immediately and as soon as allowed. you dont  know how long you will be out of work so get all these applications sorted immediately. You've been paying into this system your whole life, definitely use it. 


    2. As said above do not rest or take a break unless you really mentally need to or have the funds to do it. you need to start pumping out job applications. as many as you can each day. 

    3. take all the interviews you can even if you're not sure about the job. Practice makes perfect. interview as much as you can as it will make you much better when the "big interview" comes. 


    all the best mate. what do you do? and where in CA you located?
    Central/southern CA. Managed a branch of a community bank. Definitely taking yours and everyone advice. I'm going to feel sorry for myself tonight and then grind out the apps tomorrow
    DeeDaveyMacTravisTaraC73
  • As it's been said, sometimes these things happen for a reason and a new and better opportunity will present itself. It may not always be easy, but stay strong and focused and you'll find something :) good luck!
    gguenot
  • emnofseattleemnofseattle Mason County, Washington USA
    Dee said:

    Oh, that really sucks. Seems harsh to boot you after one error, but I guess it depends on the scale. I've found from personal experience that @sean.ray is right. Most of the time the universe balances out and things like this do happen for a reason.

    My practical advice - as someone who has dealt a lot with the unemployed - is to bang on out the job apps immediately. Any kind of break you take will end up stretching longer, and becomes harder to bring a halt to (and also to explain to future prospective employers).

    Good luck. :-)

    I would modify that, take the rest of the week and the weekend off then start bright and early on Monday morning like you're going to work, looking for work. It psycologically works to start the next business week at a normal office hours schedule. I've been fired twice, well one of them was s lay off, but regardless, I always wait until Monday then hit it hard. Otherwise this is good
    gguenotDaveyMacElisa
  • HatorianHatorian Dagobah
    You near Costa Mesa by chance?
    No Half Measures....
  • emnofseattleemnofseattle Mason County, Washington USA
    gguenot said:

    Made a stupid mistake, lapse in judgement. 100% to blame and this suckksssss. Just bought a house, wife is pregnant. Send me good energy please and anyone with tips from experience/ good advice for staying mentally focused in the new job hunt would be appreciated.

    Thanks!

    File for unemployment immediately. Unless you were negligent or did something you can be criminally charged for, chances are good it will be approved and the employer won't contest it.
    gguenotDaveyMac
  • Hatorian said:

    You near Costa Mesa by chance?

    Nah, ventura county
  • Garthgou81Garthgou81 Placerville, CA
    Oh man, I am so sorry. I got the boot from my job in November of 15, I won't say anything mind-blowing...but:

    *As others have said get on whatever assistance you can. I know in California it can be difficult to get unemployment if you were fired for certain things, but it is worth a shot.

    *Get on those apps. You lost your job, but now your job is applying and interviewing. 

    *Take interviews for jobs you don't want, they will help you cut your teeth for the ones you actually do.

    *I used to be the director at a group home in Boston for kids (this was the job I got fired from). I was in a pretty low place after getting fired. But things can and will get better. I am now in Northern CA working for a county up here and in a MUCH more prestigious and higher paying job. This will be just a stumbling block for you, as awful as it feels now, just try and remember it will improve. So you are allowed to wallow for a bit, of course, but it sounds like you have a good plan of attack. 
    DaveyMacgguenotKingKobra
  • trippytrippy Saint Louis
    That is rough.  

    In addition to what others have said:

    also clean up any digital footprint you have.  i.e. comb through your social media, and get rid of anything that might approach controversy "I hate/love trump", pics of you drunk at a bbq, sticking your tongue in someones ear,  yadda yadda.   Don't necessarily make yourself look like a boyscout and photoshop yourself painting churchs and helping out the orphans, but just clean up what you can.    


    Figure out what you need to do to get on medicaid/when you qualify.  Don't know how long your insurance will hold out.  Cobra is a bitch monkey to pay for. 

    Do the budget thing.  Figure out how long you have before things get really tight.    Don't be prideful in the job search.  Be prepared to do that dishwasher job if it means you get insurance. 

    And this is where it gets very rough.  

    Steel yourself for gutpunching decisions and worst case scenarios and be ready to pull the trigger on them (e.g. "its been X weeks, no work.  I have to sell my car").  On a similar vein, start looking at your deep cut, last resort outs (e.g. which friends/family can you stay with if you have to sell the house ).    Maybe it won't get that far but ... be ready. 
    brr8760gguenotDaveyMacTravis
    _____
    Nothing says 'This situation is serious' like a corpse on the floor.
    -Anon.
  • brr8760brr8760 Milwaukee
    Very good general advice. Since none of us know the specifics of WHY you were fired (except that you're honest enough to admit it was your fault), we can't advise you on how to use your previous employment. Are they a decent/usable reference, or the exact opposite? Was it an offense that makes employment in your previous field (bank manager) impossible? Having managerial experience is HUGE!!! Hopefully, you can use that experience to land another management job.
    cdrivegguenotDaveyMac
  • trippytrippy Saint Louis
    oh and also,  get your story straight.  Not sure how your industry works,  but in general former employers can only confirm employment and aren't able to say the circumstances.  However,  it will come up,  so you need to figure out what you are going to say when asked "so why did you leave your last job".    Not advising to "come up with your best lie",  but you will need  to be able answer that question, well. 
    Elisa
    _____
    Nothing says 'This situation is serious' like a corpse on the floor.
    -Anon.
  • cdrivecdrive Houston, TX
    Learn what you did wrong. Use the positive stress of that wonderful baby coming, harness it to land another job. Focus on the positive and bust out of this. You got this man.
    gguenotDaveyMac
  • gguenotgguenot CA
    edited June 16
    brr8760 said:

    Very good general advice. Since none of us know the specifics of WHY you were fired (except that you're honest enough to admit it was your fault), we can't advise you on how to use your previous employment. Are they a decent/usable reference, or the exact opposite? Was it an offense that makes employment in your previous field (bank manager) impossible? Having managerial experience is HUGE!!! Hopefully, you can use that experience to land another management job.

    I'm fortunate enough to have them as a positive reference still. And after 10 years of employment with them that's definitely some silver lining. My immediate boss and boss before (who is well known in our local communit) said they'd be happy to be a reference. So there's that at least
    KingKobraMichelle
  • cdrive said:

    Learn what you did wrong. Use the positive stress of that wonderful baby coming, harness it to land another job. Focus on the positive and bust out of this. You got this man.

    Thank you
  • akritenbrinkakritenbrink Lynnwood, WA (Seattle area)
    gguenot said:

    brr8760 said:

    Very good general advice. Since none of us know the specifics of WHY you were fired (except that you're honest enough to admit it was your fault), we can't advise you on how to use your previous employment. Are they a decent/usable reference, or the exact opposite? Was it an offense that makes employment in your previous field (bank manager) impossible? Having managerial experience is HUGE!!! Hopefully, you can use that experience to land another management job.

    I'm fortunate enough to have them as a positive reference still. And after 10 years of employment with them that's definitely some silver lining. My immediate boss and boss before (who is well known in our local communit) said they'd be happy to be a reference. So there's that at least
    That's great that they will be a reference. Definitely what everyone else said- Apply for benefits, apply for unemployment (you can probably do both online), get the resume together, start applying for jobs. 

    One thing to add- I used to do a lot of temp office work when I was between freelance gigs and teaching gigs. It's usually boring work, but it can help pay the bills, and even though it doesn't pay a lot, it pays better than jobs like retail and you don't run into people you know (well, it's possible, but at least you aren't serving them coffee or whatever). I haven't done this for about 12 years but getting a temp job was pretty easy back then as long as you could show up to the agency looking professional and pass whatever tests (spelling test, typing test etc). Staffing agencies make money putting you to work, so they have incentive to find you jobs. And sometimes temp jobs can turn into full time jobs.

    Sorry you lost your job. Unemployment can be very depressing. Don't let that happen to you, your family needs you to stay focused right now and get to business! :) 
    gguenotDaveyMac
    Be a human, not a machine.

    Angie Kritenbrink
    akritenbrink on most social media

  • emnofseattleemnofseattle Mason County, Washington USA
    edited June 16
    trippy said:

    That is rough.  

    In addition to what others have said:

    also clean up any digital footprint you have.  i.e. comb through your social media, and get rid of anything that might approach controversy "I hate/love trump", pics of you drunk at a bbq, sticking your tongue in someones ear,  yadda yadda.   Don't necessarily make yourself look like a boyscout and photoshop yourself painting churchs and helping out the orphans, but just clean up what you can.    


    Figure out what you need to do to get on medicaid/when you qualify.  Don't know how long your insurance will hold out.  Cobra is a bitch monkey to pay for. 

    Do the budget thing.  Figure out how long you have before things get really tight.    Don't be prideful in the job search.  Be prepared to do that dishwasher job if it means you get insurance. 

    And this is where it gets very rough.  

    Steel yourself for gutpunching decisions and worst case scenarios and be ready to pull the trigger on them (e.g. "its been X weeks, no work.  I have to sell my car").  On a similar vein, start looking at your deep cut, last resort outs (e.g. which friends/family can you stay with if you have to sell the house ).    Maybe it won't get that far but ... be ready. 
    Two points of disagreement, and yes I have been fired for an incident at work before so im not pulling this out of my ass, if he has any sort of medical issues requiring continued coverage or his wife is seeing a certain OBGYN (if she's on his plan)because she's pregnant if he has the savings COBRA the health coverage, Medicaid sucks, although he's in CA and they actually have Medical, which I don't know much about, but Medicaid / apple health here in WA is almost worse then being uninsured.

    And don't take jobs outside your skill field, he's going to file for UI and If he has worked any halfway decent job he'll make more in UI then washing dishes and locking yourself to a minimum wage job will severely cut the benefit he will receive.

    This is another lesson I learned the hard way, don't get desperate and rush in to working for a bad employer. I did that too, they laid me off. The second time I lost a job I was looking for a month and half and got myself a decent paying job just driving trailers to Portland and back.

    Really I think he won't be unemployed long, the only qualification is I don't know what his mistake was at work and what he does. If he works under a professional license and whatever he did is causing the licensing board to look into him that will change my opinion on what OP should do, but if this is something that is just an internal rule violate and he can pickup a good job elsewhere for gods sake don't apply at McDonads !
    gguenot
  • akritenbrinkakritenbrink Lynnwood, WA (Seattle area)
    Definitely don't work at McDonald's... everyone knows the McFlurry machine is always broken... so many angry customers....
    KingKobra
    Be a human, not a machine.

    Angie Kritenbrink
    akritenbrink on most social media

  • Thanks for everyone's input. I really appreciate it and everyone had great insight. I'll land on my feed and work hard getting resumes out there. Today was emotionally draining, but tomorrow's a new day. Something something more cliches :)
    cdriveMichelleHatorianDaveyMacDoubleA_RonakritenbrinkKingKobra
  • HatorianHatorian Dagobah
    edited June 16
    Just some more advice. I was under some time constraints on my earlier post.

    I know exactly how you feel. About 10 years ago I made a poor decision at work not thinking much of it and actually thinking what I was doing was the good thing. I was then walked into the manager's office and was explained I was being fired because of what I did earlier. I was devastated. I just remember sitting at home and starring at a wall like "WTF". Even my Girlfriend at the time couldn't console me. What helped me was the things below.

    1. It's just a job. There's literally a million more of them.
    2. I didn't feel sorry for myself. I owned up to my mistake and got over it.
    3. I went looking for jobs the next day and just kept being persistent until I was hired in the same role at a different company.

    I also agree with the social media thing. Make sure your Online presence is good. LinkedIn is up to date. Probably make Facebook private.

    Also send your resume to friends to review and see if they can poke holes in it. Hell you can send it to me if you want to and I'll help review it. Always good to have multiple eyes on your resume. Make sure it's spotless before sending out. You don't want to lose a great job opp on a bad resume.

    On top of that tailor your resume to jobs you apply. Now a days software is the first thing a lot of resumes go through and they usually assign a match percentage. So use the same keywords in the Job description for your resume. This is time consuming to do but it will help you get your resume on the top of the list.
    gguenotKingKobra
    No Half Measures....
  • voodooratvoodoorat Atlanta
    Sorry, man.  It's a bad feeling, especially when you've got the responsibilities piling up (wife, pending kid, new house), the anxiety of the possibility of having to scramble for something keeps me up at night sometimes, now that job security kind of poofed away when I switched jobs a few months back.

    That said, intellectually I know that it's historically a pretty good time to be looking, I've got marketable skills even if I'd need to bone up to pass a tech screening (or I'd have to push the manager-type experience more and make an effort to go down that path) or maybe have to settle for an at least temporary pay cut.  And while pretty much every job is a job (you usually have to pay to do fun stuff, not get paid), there's a huge matrix of pluses and minuses and in the end a lot of the time change is something that does wind up being for the best--I think there is something to forging a new path that lets you grow as a person.

    Anyway, good luck.  Others on the thread have what sounds like sound practical advice.
    gguenot
  • A_Ron_HubbardA_Ron_Hubbard Cincinnati, OH
    You've already gotten all the advice I would have given you.  I'm sorry, that's a lot of stress and worry to deal with.  Remember to take care of yourself during this ordeal because you'll need all the mental, physical, and emotional energy you can get, don't waste it on things that you can't change.  You've always presented as a reasonable, intelligent person, and I'm sure you'll land on your feet. Best of luck!
    gguenotTravisDaveyMac
  • TravisTravis CA
    edited June 16
    Yeah, all the bases are covered on the advice front, at least my well is tapped, but I'm rooting for you and sending out some good vibes your way. I'm sure this will all work out for you in the end and it's great that your employer will give you a good recommendation. Good luck with the grind (hopefully a really brief one), and in dealing with the EDD (I've heard good things generally about them not being too big of a pain in most cases, hopefully it goes really smoothly). I hope you get back in somewhere really quickly, and hopefully an even better opportunity.

    Also, I was reading @trippy's post and it brought to mind the issue of the house. I don't know your financial situation, but we had to short sell our place 6 or so years ago and as much as we hated to do it, it did buy us some time as the process played out. I think we more or less ended up living there payment free for around 6 to 8 months (they won't even talk to you about your options until you're 2 or 3 months behind on your payments). Obviously this was a shitty happening despite that. Our credit took a big hit and it was incredibly hard on our pride (we are both people who pride themselves on being reliable and good on our debts), but as it turned out it also kind of saved us as we were drowning in medical bills and the hit of making way less money due to said medical problems and the career issues they created. Hopefully you'll get right back in the game and it won't be an issue, but if it does that will be a way to buy you some time and perhaps the ability to save up some money in transition due to no mortgage or rent being due. We put all of that money towards the credit cards that had built up to the max with medical expenses and it really saved us in cleaning up our budget on the month to month. It might totally not apply to your situation, but I know those stresses and I just hope everything works out ok for you.
    gguenotDaveyMac

    I really want a Grizzly Bear sidekick, but Daniel Rossen won't return my phone calls.

  • akritenbrinkakritenbrink Lynnwood, WA (Seattle area)
    The good thing about newborns is they don't really demand much. There is a lot of stuff you can spend your money on if you have it, but you don't have to. Expensive baby tub? Don't need it. Wash baby in the sink. People will give you clothes and stuff and baby can rewear clothes. If mom breastfeeds, that's covered. If you don't have money for a fancy bed, baby can sleep in a box. (I know that sounds crazy but they do it in Finland). Diapers are probably the biggest expense you can't get around, but even then if you have more time than money you can do cloth diapers. 
    gguenotDaveyMac
    Be a human, not a machine.

    Angie Kritenbrink
    akritenbrink on most social media

  • This sucks, I'm sorry. *sprinkles good vibes over you*

    Most has been said, but I would just add if you still have any student loans, request an economic hardship forebearance right away. You can usually push it 6+ months out, give yourself as much breathing room as you can.

    And congrats on the baby! Let the pregnancy be a source of motivation for you, but not stress. Continue to enjoy it all. Know it will all work out in the end. Know that no matter what, that your baby will be loved and protected and provided for. And Angie is right, newborns/infants truly don't need that much. We should start a frugal parenting thread on here with all the money saving tips and tricks we've learned over the years.
    gguenotakritenbrinkA_Ron_HubbardMichelle
  • Garthgou81Garthgou81 Placerville, CA
    I already gave all the REAL helpful advice I can give, but I guess this is as good place to mention it as any...After I lost my job in 2015 I had TONS of time on my hands. Even with applying everywhere under the sun you end up with time to spare. BaldMove really helped me through that. 

    I always meant to write the guys a letter, but this will have to suffice at this point. I played a TON of Destiny and listened to their podcasts. Even podcasts I'd already heard, just to hear familiar, friendly voices. So that was a real support for me. Whatever form that support is for you, take advantage of it. 
    gguenotJoshuaHeterakritenbrinkA_Ron_HubbardDani_ArmindoMichellephoenyx1023
  • akritenbrinkakritenbrink Lynnwood, WA (Seattle area)
    @gguenot how is it going for you this week?
    Be a human, not a machine.

    Angie Kritenbrink
    akritenbrink on most social media

  • @akritenbrink its going pretty well, thanks for asking! I have an interview in 30 mins and I just came from a chamber mixer and was given a lot of support from connections I had made in the past. I have 3 people from the city's chamber of commerce tell me to send them my resume so they can send it around. So things are going as good as they can be.

    Cant thank the the BM community enough for their support and suggestions. It's really made a difference on my outlook and attitude.
    phoenyx1023DeeakritenbrinkKingKobraDaveyMaccdriveMichelleJoshuaHeterTravis
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