Sharp Objects Ep. 3 - "Fix"

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Comments

  • With your most recent comment JamieT, what do we make of Camille tossing the (phone ipod?) out the window at the end of the episode? Is she done trying to fix?
  • JaimieTJaimieT Atlanta, GA
    hitmy said:
    With your most recent comment JamieT, what do we make of Camille tossing the (phone ipod?) out the window at the end of the episode? Is she done trying to fix?

    I think it's her latest effort to try to get over the pain. Essentially it's another fix.
  • edited July 2018
    @A_Ron_Hubbard, I'm so grateful you guys are covering Sharp Objects, specifically with your family experience. While it's interesting listening to some of the general coverage, having grown up with a Narcissist-Borderline Southern mother like Adora, I am constantly waiting for podcasters coming from non-Borderline families to misunderstand how realistic she is or complain that Camille doesn't respond like they would. It's a relief to tune into your coverage and know you will get it.


    I second this SOOO much.  As someone who was raised by a mother that resembles Adora to a near-sickening extent, I find this show the oddest combination of difficult to watch and somehow cathartic -- like, oh my god, I'm not the only one.  It even goes so far that my mother has said the exact phrases Adora says, specifically the plaintive need for other people to assure her that she is 'not a bad mother'.  I can also relate to the enraging frustration at the person's behavior, followed by the abject humiliation when you just say whatever you need to in order to keep the peace.  I even had a period when I was younger of cutting in order to relieve the intense negativity I felt at constantly being gaslit, blamed for everything, and emotionally whiplashed.  (I overcame that and am doing great now, though!)

    I cut my mom out of my life last year, and a good portion of my family has now stopped speaking to ME because they don't believe all of the shit that happened behind closed doors.  As an expert manipulator who excels at making herself the victim, she has everyone convinced that I am the one hurting her.  Plus, these people cause those around them (especially their family) to put on the happiest faces in public in order to survive, so we look crazy when we finally pull the curtain back and reveal what we have been hiding.

    Point being: anyone that thinks that the Adora character isn't realistic should spend some time alone with my mother after she has had a few drinks.
    FreibergJaimieTtelephoneofmadnessduncanpowersA_Ron_Hubbard
  • edited July 2018
    I'm surprised that there are so many people with traumatic childhoods on Bald Move. I sometimes wonder how common this kind of thing is. Maybe it's very common and people just don't talk about it.
  • I'm surprised that there are so many people with traumatic childhoods on Bald Move. I sometimes wonder how common this kind of thing is. Maybe it's very common and people just don't talk about it.
    I dunno. That may well be. I also think that Jim & Aron’s frank and open way of speaking about what they have been through in the past, plus their comfort with discussing emotions in a way you don’t often hear (especially from men) attracts people with a similar emotional maturity that often comes from surviving some heavy shit. I know it’s nice for me to hear opinions, even on un-related stuff, from people I relate to. That’s just a guess though!
    duncanpowershitmy
  • That's a good point about their frankness attracting like minds. Fundamentalist and/or narcissistic families are nothing if not isolating, so hearing a similar perspective, that you once were convinced nobody would or could ever understand, voiced on a weekly basis is pretty wild, especially about a show like this. 

    Septa Nutella said:
    I cut my mom out of my life last year, and a good portion of my family has now stopped speaking to ME because they don't believe all of the shit that happened behind closed doors.  As an expert manipulator who excels at making herself the victim, she has everyone convinced that I am the one hurting her.  Plus, these people cause those around them (especially their family) to put on the happiest faces in public in order to survive, so we look crazy when we finally pull the curtain back and reveal what we have been hiding.

    Point being: anyone that thinks that the Adora character isn't realistic should spend some time alone with my mother after she has had a few drinks.
    Exactly. People like Adora are all about keeping the mystique alive, constantly taking the temperature of how much outsiders like and admire them, and using that as proof against you, their family. Even people that have heard the stories will come back at you to specifically point out how nice she seems, and her powerful personality slowly draws them in. They want to believe, and, well, it's just easier for them to cut you off than her, even if they aren't on the payroll.

    Narcissists have no concept of the damage they're doing because you are no more than an errant extension of themselves, and if you are hurting, that is because you are willingly resisting being more like them. Adora repeatedly declaring she doesn't want to know what Camille is doing is classic NPD behavior. It's not just about denial. If she doesn't know, she just assumes Camille is doing what she would do herself, eventually exploding when confronted with reality like matter and anti-matter. Her disgust at the nurse having to cut thorns off was also truly typical. I could practically taste her thinking, "If only Camille were more like me, I wouldn't have to be attacked in this way!Amma gets away with her skater hood activities because Adora simply does not think about what she's doing when she's out of sight. She assumes Amma is doing what Adora would do if she were "a little girl."
    JaimieTFreibergBroRad33
  • I don't think I've been absorbed with an HBO Drama this much since S1 of True Detective. Thanks to everyone who is opening up about their experiences, and how it relates to the characters at play here.
    Freibergduncanpowers
  • Thanks to everyone brave enough to share about their experiences. I’m usually so quick to tune out the over-sharers on social media but there is a maturity both in how Jim and A. Ron talk about and how you all speak about it on here. It also feels relevant to your informed takes on the show.

    Someone mused above about how common this kind of upbringing might be. My Dad spent 43 years as a junior high teacher and guidance counselor. I can remember conferring with my sister when we were young adults and both of saying, “ALL of these former students of his can’t ALL be the children of alcoholics. There is no way there are as many as he says.” Given that we had no basis to question his claims and he had advanced degrees and decades of experience, my older, hopefully wiser, self realizes that alcoholic parents and probably mental illness were much more common than the public led us to believe in the 80s and 90s. 
    Freiberg
  • amhatch said:

    I come from a long paternal line of alcoholism.

    ...

    That being said, yes, hallucinating while drinking is absolutely something that happens to chronic alcoholics. They hear voices, imagine people who aren't there, become paranoid. It is much like schizophrenia. They lose many bodily functions, not just "toilet" related. They drool, sway, cannot focus, see double, or halo effects. Or so has been my experience.

    Well, I’m not really sure how to begin.  I’ve been a Club member for years but this is my first time in the forums.  But something about this show, about how it depicts addiction and self harm and mental health issues hit too close to home for me to stay away.  And this seems like a relatively small discussion on an otherwise massive board and seemed like a good place to dip my toes in and test the water.

    I also come from a long line of alcoholics and mentally ill family, as does my wife.  Of our sons four grandparents two have died directly from alcohol, with many other family members also dead or addicted.  I too have had problems with addiction, and while I probably didn’t meet clinical criteria for alcoholism I was certainly headed that direction until my father took his own life.  It was a reality check that caused me to immediately change my behavior and coping strategies and I can now proudly say I no longer drink and haven’t in several years.

    My turn in Overshare Corner finished I wanted to add to the discussion about what chronic alcoholism can be like.  I have also witnessed the paranoia, hallucinations and delusions, and schizophrenic like symptoms in not only my father and late mother-in-law, but in many others.  These symptoms tend to occur late into ones alcoholism and, in my experience, tend to be amplifications of pre-existing mental health issues.  My father had Anti-Social Personality Disorder and was probably a Narcissist also and I recognize aspects of both of these disorders in this series.  Camille leaning towards ASPD (although far from diagnosable, in my non-professional opinion) and Adora well within diagnosable Narcism.  Amma, it seems, is beginning to show signs of mental health issues as well, and it’s usually in the teens and early twenties when these problems fully emerge.

    I guess I don’t have much to add beyond saying that this show is doing a remarkable job of portraying addiction and mental illness.  It isn’t afraid to get ugly and show what it’s really like, how scary it can be and how weak and helpless they can make you feel, how they can intertwine and ratchet each other up again and again.  I’m really enjoying Sharp Objects and can’t wait to read the book once the show is done, but I must say the actual mystery is far less interesting to me than the realistic portrayal of the characters.

    Thank you for sharing your story. It’s always a bit tough to do but I hope you feel better. :) I won’t get preachy, but I did find AlAnon classes that I attended as a child did help me cope through the worst of it. I should probably go back. 
  • Whoops, in my haste to overshare I forgot a sort of tangentially relevant detail: I’m a native of Waukesha, WI, the town where the Slenderman stabbing took place.  I probably don’t have any details that aren’t public knowledge but I’d be happy to share a local take on the events as someone who, in my own youth, played in the same park and woods where the crime occurred.  I haven’t lived in Waukesha in years”
    I’m a Sheboygan native and currently live in Fond du Lac. Small(ish) world. :)
  • amhatchamhatch Wisco
    edited July 2018
    @A_Ron_Hubbard, I'm so grateful you guys are covering Sharp Objects, specifically with your family experience. While it's interesting listening to some of the general coverage, having grown up with a Narcissist-Borderline Southern mother like Adora, I am constantly waiting for podcasters coming from non-Borderline families to misunderstand how realistic she is or complain that Camille doesn't respond like they would. It's a relief to tune into your coverage and know you will get it.


    I second this SOOO much.  As someone who was raised by a mother that resembles Adora to a near-sickening extent, I find this show the oddest combination of difficult to watch and somehow cathartic -- like, oh my god, I'm not the only one.  It even goes so far that my mother has said the exact phrases Adora says, specifically the plaintive need for other people to assure her that she is 'not a bad mother'.  I can also relate to the enraging frustration at the person's behavior, followed by the abject humiliation when you just say whatever you need to in order to keep the peace.  I even had a period when I was younger of cutting in order to relieve the intense negativity I felt at constantly being gaslit, blamed for everything, and emotionally whiplashed.  (I overcame that and am doing great now, though!)

    I cut my mom out of my life last year, and a good portion of my family has now stopped speaking to ME because they don't believe all of the shit that happened behind closed doors.  As an expert manipulator who excels at making herself the victim, she has everyone convinced that I am the one hurting her.  Plus, these people cause those around them (especially their family) to put on the happiest faces in public in order to survive, so we look crazy when we finally pull the curtain back and reveal what we have been hiding.

    Point being: anyone that thinks that the Adora character isn't realistic should spend some time alone with my mother after she has had a few drinks.
    I applaud your choice. It takes real guts to do so. I know I’ll go back to my dad eventually. I just need a break. As for my own Adora (my mother) she is completely detached from anything she ever did to us. If we ask her about things she insists we are making it up. Especially her Flowers in the Attic type behaviors where we children from her first marriage were sent to bed at 7:00 Pm and watched through the banisters on the landing as she and my step dad and my little brother had happy family time ordering takeout and renting movies and laughing. 
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