FEMAs' Presidential Alert System testing soon. Info & Humorous Predictions

Okay, first of all:  FEMA's Presidential Alert System is a system by which the President (presumably with oversight) can send an emergency text message out to virtually everyone who is in the United States and has a cell phone.  It will work with over 100 wireless carriers by broadcasting the specially formatted text message from all towers for a specified period of time.  The system was supposed to be testing for the first time tomorrow, however it has been postponed until October 3rd due to Hurricane Florence and not wanting to induce a panic.  The test message will begin broadcasting at 2:18pm ET and broadcast for 30 minutes.  You're phone should only display the message one time after it has received the signal, and then ignore it until the message has changed.  This is the same system that already broadcasts Amber alerts.  Users can opt-out of Amber and Weather alerts via phone settings.  Users CAN NOT opt out of Presidential alerts.  

The test will read as follows: Header: "Presidential Alert"  Body: "THIS IS A TEST of the National Wireless Emergency Alert System. No action is needed."

https://www.vox.com/policy-and-politics/2018/9/15/17863954/presidential-alert-trump-fema-emergency-alert-test
https://www.fema.gov/frequently-asked-questions-wireless-emergency-alerts/

Now that the PSA is out of the way, I want to know how YOU think President Trump would use and abuse the system if the messages weren't filtered through FEMA.  If he could send them from his phone, unsupervised.  Not counting the header, it's gotta be 90 characters or less.  
TaraC73Travis
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Comments

  • No action is needed.  NO COLLUSION!!11
    JoshTheBlackMurderbearApril_May_JuneCretanBullTraviscdriveMichellegolds
  • TaraC73TaraC73 Manchester NH
    Holy fuck this is really going to be a thing?? I was actually hoping this was truly a fake news story.  I guess as long as it is filtered I don’t have a problem with it...I get amber and weather alerts already.

    As for what I think Trump would send out, it would go something like this:
    “Stormy is wrong. My YUGE penis would smash Toad in a game of MarioKart. My penis would smash Toad in any game. Name the game, Toad and my penis and I will show you!
    JoshTheBlackTravisMichelle
  • Every time a democratic news station puts out a story get ready for a “Fake News” alert
    JoshTheBlackTravisgolds
  • kingbee67kingbee67 Los Angeles Ca.
    During the emergency alerts Trump assign blame to a list of democrats, former presidents and news organizations. Also that traitorous Jeff Sessions.
    MurderbearCretanBullTravis
  • The first text is going to be a dick pic.
    MurderbearTaraC73DummyDeeCretanBullTravisMichellecdrivegjulleen
  • "Many ppl will tell you. I have the biggest beautiful, normal-looking penis. Ask anyone."
    MurderbearTaraC73April_May_JuneTravisMichellecdrive
  • MurderbearMurderbear Cold Spring, Ky
    MISSILE INBOUND! RUN FOR COVFEFE!
    JoshTheBlackTaraC73FlukesDeeApril_May_JuneCretanBullTravisMichellecdrivemostlywright
  • FASCIST LIBERAL TANKS are ATTACKING THE WHITEHOUSE!!!
    April_May_JuneTravisMichelle
  • Lord only knows what he would say, but I bet I know what the alert will sound like ...


    TravisMichelle
  • The user and all related content has been deleted.
  • "WWE Network is only $9.99 folks"
    MurderbearCretanBullMattyWeavesTravisMichelle
  • JoshTheBlackJoshTheBlack Atlanta, GA
    Reminder.  This is today.  Just a little over 4 hours from now.
    Travis
  • So funny that this thread got started. I found my mind wandering on these things when I saw it on the news this morning.

    I kind of figured that the incoming alert sound would just be a "lock her up" chant, or maybe a computer voice saying "MAGA! MAGA!" Perhaps "Trump eats the sun and drinks the sky and they both go with him when he dies."
  • This is the bestist emergency warning ever. It's the best. You won't ever receive a better warning ever. My warnings are the best. My hands are not small so on my phone I won't see the greatest message ever because they will be covering the screen but I know they will be the best.
    TravisMurderbearApril_May_June
  • FreddyFreddy Denton, Texas
    Well that was uneventful. Quick, somebody hurry up and hurt his feelings.
    Michelle
  • JaimieTJaimieT Atlanta, GA
    Confirmed: No sound if your phone is on silent.
    russkelly
  • JaimieTJaimieT Atlanta, GA
    That's right I was running MY OWN TEST.
    MattyWeavesFlukes
  • MattyWeavesMattyWeaves Mid-State New York
    Mine woke my dog up to go take a shit. So, that is Trump's job today, reminding my dog to poop.
    FlukesFreddy
  • Didn’t get an alert, I think mine is broken. 
  • FlukesFlukes Calgary, Canada
    edited October 3
    "My phone beeped but it was just hockey scores." - A Canadian
    MichelleDoubleA_Ronmostlywright
  • cdrivecdrive Houston, TX
    edited October 3
    I got mine right on the dot when they said it would come.  What does it mean?  Am I one of the chosen when the shit goes down?  How much time do we have before said shit goes said direction?
  • cdrive said:
    I got mine right on the dot when they said it would come.  What does it mean?  Am I one of the chosen when the shit goes down?  How much time do we have before said shit goes said direction?
    I had 3 mobiles go off at the same time. I guess it worked. For those that didn’t get it *¯\_(ツ)_/¯* I guess you’ll never know the secret that was let out muhahahahahhahahaha
    Murderbearcdrive
  • cdrivecdrive Houston, TX
    KingKobra said:
    cdrive said:
    I got mine right on the dot when they said it would come.  What does it mean?  Am I one of the chosen when the shit goes down?  How much time do we have before said shit goes said direction?
    I had 3 mobiles go off at the same time. I guess it worked. For those that didn’t get it *¯\_(ツ)_/¯* I guess you’ll never know the secret that was let out muhahahahahhahahaha
    Nice! Hi five, @KingKobra ! See you at the muster point.  
    KingKobra
  • ChinaskiChinaski Santa Cruz, CA
    i was driving listening to a Leftovers BM Pod when it went off over my bluetooth SUPER loud. i was like 'ohhh fuck.. the Departure is 11 days early...'
    TravisMattyWeavesMichellecdrive
  • JoshTheBlackJoshTheBlack Atlanta, GA
    The president (thankfully) doesn’t have direct access to send a message. It must be sent by FEMA at the presidents direction. 
  • There's a U2 joke in here somewhere, but I can't seem to dig it out.
  • MichelleMichelle California
    Travis said:
    There's a U2 joke in here somewhere, but I can't seem to dig it out.
    If it's regarding his penis, as mentioned earlier - "I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For".
    TravisFlukescdrive
  • MichelleMichelle California
    I was all zoned out working on payroll health insurance deductions when the alert came across my phone (which is sitting right next to my keyboard) at full volume.  I guess it works, but I'm not so sure about my ears now... or my heart.  I must have jumped a few feet in my chair.

    My boss and I were joking that the alerts would only be to announce to the rest of us that he's still a dumbass, or it'll be a countdown to when he's out of office (you never know, FEMA could be on a super secret mission behind his back :smiley: ). 
  • TravisTravis CA
    edited October 3
    Michelle said:
    Travis said:
    There's a U2 joke in here somewhere, but I can't seem to dig it out.
    If it's regarding his penis, as mentioned earlier - "I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For".
    HA! Well played.
    The U2 thing is from when they basically forced their new album on everyone's iPhone a ways back. I am actually starting to doubt that there is a good joke there to this specific topic, but I'm glad I brought it up because that was pretty damned funny.

    Michelle
  • DeeDee Adelaide
    KingKobra said:
    cdrive said:
    I got mine right on the dot when they said it would come.  What does it mean?  Am I one of the chosen when the shit goes down?  How much time do we have before said shit goes said direction?
    I had 3 mobiles go off at the same time. I guess it worked. For those that didn’t get it *¯\_(ツ)_/¯* I guess you’ll never know the secret that was let out muhahahahahhahahaha
    Why do you have three phones? Never mind, I’ve seen Better Call Saul. I KNOW WHY. 
    KingKobraFlukescdriveMichellemostlywright
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