Everyone Should Get a Bidet

I always been interested in Bidets, but always figured it was too much of a hassle to try and get one in the US, but after all the recent Bidet talk I decided to look into actually getting one.  It turns out it actually super simple!  I found a basic model on Amazon for like $35 (Luxe Bidet Neo 120).  I was thinking the installation process would be complicated, but if you get a basic model it's just a matter of removing your toilet seat and adding the bidet underneath, hooking up the water supply behind your toilet to a T splitter, and attaching an extra hose to the bidet.  If you want to try a fancier model that shoots both cold and hot water it gets a little more complicated, but just doing cold water isn't nearly as shocking as I anticipated.  Maybe I just got used to it, but now I actually find it refreshing in a way. 

If you're happy with toiler paper then keep doing what you're doing.  Otherwise I would strongly recommend trying a bidet.  Especially if you are a "flushable" wet wipe addict like I used to be.  Those things will absolutely destroy your plumbing.  I've been using my bidet for about a month now and I love it!  I figured out the perfect amount of pressure to use, and all the right angles, and my ass hole has never been cleaner!  Get yours today!
tom_gtelephoneofmadness
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Comments

  • FlukesFlukes Calgary, Canada
    edited January 8
    You know what? I'm joining the bidet revolution. Heading to Amazon right now.

    Update: I ordered the exact same one for $39 CAD. Prime shipping. I'll be in the bidet club by the weekend.
    telephoneofmadnessShum
  • russkellyrusskelly Indianapolis
    40 bucks!?! sold.
    FlukesShumtelephoneofmadness
  • FlukesFlukes Calgary, Canada
    Reading bidet reviews on Amazon is making my day. 
    russkellyShumtelephoneofmadnessMichelle
  • FreddyFreddy Denton, Texas
    edited January 8
    With all the talk about eating ass that the likes of Nicki Minaj and what not get up to in these days, I'm surprised bidets aren't advertised more in pop lyrics.
    "All decked out in rose gold,
    all over the rim of the bidet and the toilet bowl"
    FlukesShumNoeltelephoneofmadnessMichelle
  • @Flukes@russkelly ; There's nothing quite as rewarding as making a real difference in the world.  I'm tearing up just thinking about your clean ass holes.  Let me know what you guys think once you get it installed.
    Flukesrusskellyhisdudeness915cdriveFreddyNoeltelephoneofmadness
  • New movement this year:

    Bald Move Bidet 2k19

    A bidet in every toilet
    Shumhisdudeness915NoeltelephoneofmadnessMichelle
  • @CapeGabe ; That is a movement I can definitely get behind.


    CapeGabe
  • ChinaskiChinaski Santa Cruz, CA
    not gonna lie, first i was like 'wtf is a bidet?' <sounding out Bid-Et'>. thought it was some new kind of neat gadget or something along those lines. then i googled it... 'ahhh the ass cleaner. i get it now!'.
    ShumMichelle
  • russkellyrusskelly Indianapolis
    @Chinaski ME TOO! I I read "Bidget" and thought it was some kind weird Canadian/UK fitness watch.
    Michelleweeniegirl
  • hisdudeness915hisdudeness915 Atlanta, Ga
    edited January 10
    Amazon just had a lightning deal on this exact one. $25!!!! I pulled the trigger and my asshole is equal parts nervous and excited  :#

    #BaldMoveBidets2K19
    cdriveShumtom_gtelephoneofmadnessMichelleweeniegirl
  • Here in Finland, EVERY toilet comes by default with a bidet shower.

    Wikipedia:

    A bidet shower (bum gun, bidet spray, bidet sprayer, or health faucet), is a hand-held triggered nozzle that is placed near the toilet and delivers a spray of water used for anal cleansing and cleaning of the genitals after using the toilet for defecation and urination. The device is similar to that on a kitchen sink sprayer.



    telephoneofmadness
  • I’d like this on a shirt please
    Michelle
  • FreddyFreddy Denton, Texas
    edited January 10
    Down here in my neck of the woods they make mighty fine boot cleaners!

    Noeltelephoneofmadness
  • What’s a bidet?
    Noel
  • FlukesFlukes Calgary, Canada
    edited January 10

    Excitement building.
    telephoneofmadnessShumNoel
  • FreddyFreddy Denton, Texas
    edited January 10
    This message board is going to low key become the official bidet community on the internet. Just watch.
    Shum
  • MichelleMichelle California
    This whole thread is giving me visuals that I really didn't think I ever wanted or needed.  :astonished: 
    Noelhisdudeness915
  • FreddyFreddy Denton, Texas
    Flukes said:

    Excrement building.
    Fixed it for you!
    FlukesNoelShumcalebthrowerhisdudeness915
  • NoelNoel Dallas, TX
    Michelle said:
    This whole thread is giving me visuals that I really didn't think I ever wanted or needed.  :astonished: 
    Same. It’s a half kinda grossed out, but half chuckling at almost every comment, kinda thread.
    Michelle
  • My $25 bidet arrives tomorrow before 8pm.
    cdriveNoelShumFlukesMFGhisdudeness915weeniegirl
  • FreddyFreddy Denton, Texas
    Jim said:
    My $25 bidet arrives tomorrow before 8pm.
    What's the over/under on you having to take a shit at a quarter 'til?
    Noelhisdudeness915tom_gShumFlukes
  • Freddy said:
    Jim said:
    My $25 bidet arrives tomorrow before 8pm.
    What's the over/under on you having to take a shit at a quarter 'til?
    The odds are good.  We might have to postpone LWJ&A if it arrives before 1pm.
    hisdudeness915ShumFreddyNoelweeniegirl
  • calebthrowercalebthrower South Carolina
    There are a lot of things I was thinking that may happen in 2019 but a Bald Move Crusade to popularize the bidet was pretty low on that list. Still....I'm happy it's happening. I eagerly await the results and if they are favorable I too may add my house to Team Bidet
    Shum
  • I believe they double as a drinking fountain too
    calebthrower
  • FlukesFlukes Calgary, Canada
    Bidet Update!

    I installed the Luxe Bidet Neo 120 last night. I did have to make one quick run to Home Depot (not to use the bathroom).

    Installation was no problem at all (about 10 minutes of actual work) but I do have a few tips:
    • The plastic "wrench" that came in the package is damn-near useless. You'll want some channel locks or a adjustable crescent wrench.
    • If you have a rigid(ish) pipe connecting your toilet to the shut off valve, just go get a flexible braided hose from Home Depot ahead of time. I got a 12" hose for just under $8 CAD, so it should be about $5 USD. It's not worth trying to carefully add a bend in the rigid pipe to make up the space taken by the T-connector.
    • This is strictly based on my experience over the years, so take it for what it's worth, but I only put teflon tape on metal-to-metal connections. If your hose has a plastic female connector, just screw it directly to the metal threads. I've found using teflon with plastic connectors usually causes more leaks than it prevents. Teflon tape goes on the threads in the same direction as you would tighten a connector on it - clockwise. 
    As for operation, I am still eagerly waiting the *ahem* main event, but test runs were very successful. Cold water is a bit of a shock the first time, but it's really not that bad. All the members of my family who tried it reported the aim to be very accurate.

    Your experience may vary depending on the water pressure available, but I can't imagine a reason to turn it up past "low". My wife did give our son $2 to try turning it up to high and I don't think he's suffered any damage, so even an accidental discharge at the highest setting may be uncomfortable but not unsafe. 
    hisdudeness915ShumFreddyNoelletrbuck2006
  • FlukesFlukes Calgary, Canada
    Jim said:
    My $25 bidet arrives tomorrow before 8pm.

    Shum
  • @Flukes ; glad everything went relatively smoothly with the installation.  Totally agree about the wrench that comes with the box.  Not worth the plastic it took to make it.  And yeah, the pressure definitely escalates quickly.

    I think everyone is eagerly awaiting your next bowel movement, so keep us updated.
  • FreddyFreddy Denton, Texas
    There are a lot of things I was thinking that may happen in 2019 but a Bald Move Crusade to popularize the bidet was pretty low on that list. Still....I'm happy it's happening. I eagerly await the results and if they are favorable I too may add my house to Team Bidet
    You have fun in water butt world. I was born a Charmin man, and I'll die a Charmin man. Also, hot dogs aren't fucking sandwiches.
    Flukes
  • cdrivecdrive Houston, TX
    Alright.  Just ordered mine.  I've been monitoring the bidet talk here day..."bidet"....and I decided to pull the trigger.  I'm going to ironically use it until I eventually unironically use it.  Arrives on Sunday.  I'm pretty excited.  
    FlukesShumFreddyVikki12
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