Favorite Pete Campbell Quotes

What is yours?   Here is a list of a bunch of gems from the Grimy Little Pimp.  Please add any I missed ...

That is a very sensitive piece of horseflesh. He shouldn't
be rattled!


Not Great Bob!


The King Ordered It!


Jiminy Christmas. Think you're going to begin your life over and
do it right. But what if you never get past the beginning again?


You know that she's every bit as good as any woman in this


Don't act like you had a plan. You're Tarzan, swinging from
vine to vine.


How dare you. This cannot be made good. It's shameful. It's
a shameful, shameful day!


He didn't ask you because he thinks you're a homo.


You did what was best for you because you're impatient and
childish. You had a tantrum on a full page in the New York Times.


The whole country is drinking!


I found out yesterday that Head of Accounts is going to
Kenny and his haircut.


Why does it have to be like this? Why can't I get anything
good all at once?


It's an incredible sensation. You have to be very quiet. Take
it down with the first shot or you scare it away. Then sometimes you have to go
up and finish it off. Then you tie it to the bumper and go home. But do you
know what I've always wanted to do? I would pick it up, throw its back legs
over my shoulder, and I would drag it through the snow to this little cabin.
And there, I'd hang it up between a couple of trees, cut it open, and drain it,
dress it. Then I'd take my big hunting knife and I'd cut this loin right out
the side. And I'd go into the cabin and there'd be this woman waiting for me.
Standing by one of those old stoves with a big black pipe. And I'd hand it to
her and she'd put it in a cast iron skillet and then I'd sit at the table. And
she'd bring it to me. And I'd wipe my knife on my knee. And then I would eat
it. While she watches.


This is ridiculous. If I’m going to die, I want to die in


Well, as they used to say at the freshman mixer, when you
get a yes, you go home.


Let me speak to the manager . . . Of the republic of
dresses. Whoever can help me with this because you're falling short.


It turns out he wanted something we weren't prepared to
give. Something very unorthodox.


My mother can go to hell, and Ted Chaogh can fly her there


I asked for a doctor and you sent me a rapist


Well I’m the president of the Howdy Doody Circus Army


Christ on a cracker, where do you get off?


Hells Bells Trudy!  That’s
final!  You do not speak to me that way!


I can use my expense account if I say they're whores


You’re not just pathetic, you’re selfish


She loved the sea


Stable is that step backwards between successful and failing


I’m drinking rum!


Did you know we were in the presence of a bona-fide


Well, as the Bible says, enjoy your fatted calf


You don’t get to forbid me


  • Frakkin TFrakkin T Currently Offline
    edited May 2015
    well you just used all the good ones
    Yur breath
  • FreddyFreddy Denton, Texas
    edited May 2015
    ^^^Yeah! Way to blow your wad, Grimy. Ha ha.

    Seriously though, I forgot half of those. Don Magic Campbell really is prolific.
  • Haha.  I meant pick your favorite from what's posted.  But also, add anything I may have left off.  Grimy Little Pete is a treasure, picking a favorite quote is not an easy task
  • FreddyFreddy Denton, Texas
    edited May 2015
    Picking a favorite quote is like picking a favorite ex wife: I loved them all enough to marry, but not enough to keep me from leaving them for the next Mrs. Freddy. Or going back to one of the previous Mrs. Freddys from time to time for that matter...
  • A_Ron_HubbardA_Ron_Hubbard Cincinnati, OH
    I'm partial to "My mother can go to hell, and Ted Chaogh can fly her there".  His deer hunter sex fantasy is pretty epic, too.

    This isn't a line, but it's a hard to beat Pete moment.  
  • steph_bsteph_b Austin
    How about 

    "A thing like that"


     "I'm using all of my energy putting my foot down"
  • pavlovsbellpavlovsbell Brooklyn, NY
    edited May 2015
    Virtually every Pete Campbell line is my favorite Pete Campbell line, and it's mostly due to Vincent Kartheiser.  Pete has changed so much that it's impossible to pick a favorite.  I'll just add more to the list:

    "It's a chip and dip."  (said repeatedly)

    "You know what? I have good ideas. In fact, I used to carry around a notebook and a pen, just to keep track. Direct marketing? I thought of that. It turned out it already existed, but I arrived at it independently. And then I come to this place, and you people tell me that I’m good with people, which is strange, because I’d never heard that before."  

    "Of course I love you. I’m giving up my life to be with you, aren’t I?"

    "Is he Spanish from Spain?  Because otherwise Mother will refuse."

    "That Spanish fly!"

  • steph_bsteph_b Austin
    My coworker said he quit Mad Men because he thought VK's acting was unwatchable. Oh if my coworker only knew how harshly I judge him for that. 
  • pavlovsbellpavlovsbell Brooklyn, NY
    VK is perfect.  Your coworker now has two people judging him harshly.
  • broompersonbroomperson the Iron Islands
  • aberry89aberry89 California
    edited May 2015
    The writing for Pete is great, but I think the actor takes them to the next level. 


    And my absolute favorite....


    No one cracks me up more on Mad Men than Pete. He is so earnest, so stupid. 
  • FreddyFreddy Denton, Texas
    edited May 2015
    Do they make a Pete Campbell bobble head figure? I'm thinking the baldmove headquarters needs one.

  • Vincent Kartheiser's delivery takes these lines to another level.  Especially when Pete is being holier than thou and is disgusted or outraged at something. 

    I love all these quotes but I am partial to

    - That is a very sensitive piece of horseflesh. He
    shouldn't be rattled!

    - How dare you. This cannot be made good. It's
    shameful. It's a shameful, shameful day!

    I also agree with A_Ron, that deer hunting sex fantasy soliloquy is epic
  • MichelleMichelle California

    His deer hunter sex fantasy is pretty epic, too.

    And it led to one of the greatest Peggy replies ever.  :)
    *dry mouthed and breathless, totally enraptured*  ".... that would be wonderful." 

  • “Say yes with your voice and not just your eyes”
  • MichelleMichelle California
    (As he leaves Trudy's home at 5 a.m. after they reunite, with a smile)  "......good morning."
  • "For heaven’s sake, you’re drunk. And you’re
    being very menacing right now"
  • My favorite is pretty basic: "It's a shameful, shameful day!"
  • "You stupid wino. You're going to
    destroy everything!"
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