Will this hurt #metoo
saw this story this morning on every website on the planet basically, https://www.google.com/amp/s/m.huffpost.com/us/entry/us_5b7a1c4de4b018b93e9524a5/amp
guess my question is will this really hurt the #metoo movement. Obviously some folks will crow, but at this point I don’t think this will be more than a speed bump. He was 17 so just below the age of consent which maybe she didn’t know was 18 in Cali, which doesn’t excuse it and she looks to have used her authority and age over him (looks almost like learned behavior from what Weinstein did to her). But I do have to wonder about the kid’s motivations and plenty of guys will say, “dude, it’s an older woman...what’s your deal?”
My guess is she she will be kinda banished from the movement in any meaningful capacity but it won’t cause any huge backlash. Thoughts?
guess my question is will this really hurt the #metoo movement. Obviously some folks will crow, but at this point I don’t think this will be more than a speed bump. He was 17 so just below the age of consent which maybe she didn’t know was 18 in Cali, which doesn’t excuse it and she looks to have used her authority and age over him (looks almost like learned behavior from what Weinstein did to her). But I do have to wonder about the kid’s motivations and plenty of guys will say, “dude, it’s an older woman...what’s your deal?”
My guess is she she will be kinda banished from the movement in any meaningful capacity but it won’t cause any huge backlash. Thoughts?
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Comments
It's super unfortunate and disappointing hypocrisy, but from the other side of the coin, the guy involved is telling his own #metoo story, which might be a weight off his shoulders and encouragement for other males to involve themselves in the wider narrative too. I'm not naive enough to think that there aren't predatory females in the industry too.
Age of consent is irrelevant. He states in the documents she sexually assaulted him. It doesn’t matter if he was 17 or 37.
For what it's worth, I hope this won't derail the movement and that @amyja89 is right that it will help more guys to feel comfortable in coming forward. I was just so surprised to see this come from one of the women who has been such a big voice. Do you think what Weinstein did to her made her think this was acceptable behavior?
There's some psychological basis for cases where the victim becomes the abuser, but (1) it's never so basic as the victim thinking the behavior is acceptable and (2) it's impossible to diagnose that kind of thing from the outside. Also one must be cautious from thinking this sort of thing happens with all or even most or even many victims.
Women aren't immune to handling their power as poorly and thoughtlessly as men do.
"Kinda creepy."
That's just a garden variety kink. That's not to say it wasn't creepy in this context. I just can't tell what you mean.
I've been sexually harassed and assaulted by both genders over the course of my lifetime, and I have not reported any of the them. Mostly at the time, I didn't even consider them as harassment and assault because I didn't feel physically threatened in either occasion, and dismissed it as "she was drunk" or "was just fooling around", and I could have physically forced them to stop any time I wanted, so, maybe I was doing something to lead them on or encourage them? I know many men who would just laugh at me if I confided that it was embarrassing or humiliating or damaged my professional reputation, etc.
Regardless of how much of a problem it is in context of the female side of #metoo, it's not hard to see how badly sexism hurts everyone, which is why I firmly believe all men should be feminists as well. http://reddit.com/r/menslib is a great resource for the masculine side of the struggle towards equality.
"Mr. Bennett’s notice of intent asked for $3.5 million in damages for the intentional infliction of emotional distress, lost wages, assault and battery. Mr. Bennett made more than $2.7 million in the five years before the 2013 meeting with Ms. Argento, but his income has since dropped to an average of $60,000 a year, which he attributes to the trauma that followed the sexual encounter with Ms. Argento, his lawyer wrote."
https://www.usatoday.com/story/life/people/2018/08/21/asia-argento-strongly-denies-she-had-sex-underage-boy/1051523002/
Either she preyed on a barely-seventeen year old that she had known in a mentor role, a position of power/authority, for like a decade and is now denying that anything happened and further blaming her dead boyfriend for the idea of paying the accuser off; or a failed child actor desperate for money extorted the sympathy of Bourdain and Argento for some quick cash based on a picture that could either be viewed as innocent or damning depending on the circumstances around it.
Either way, it’s ugly, and I tend to believe the accuser until/unless more info comes to light. I can’t find any details on the alleged picture other than it showed them laying in a hotel bed. I assume they were fully clothed and taking a selfie in such a way isn’t necessarily weird, but it isn’t necessarily innocent either. If they were in some suggestive state of undress, then it would be hard to believe to be innocent.
....
I didn't think this was a big deal until now, her denial.
There has to be some sort of preponderance of evidence thing going on. Like, hearing the bulk details, we arrive at a picture that says people in positions of power tend to abuse that power to gratify themselves.
To the extent that more men are in positions of power than women, men will be over represented in the abuses. To the extent that they choose to gratify themselves sexually, the abuse will manifest in sexual harrassment and assault.
That doesn't mean we should be surprised that women in positions of power also abuse that power to gratify themselves. That thought that women are angelic beings who are above sex and violence and the world would be a maigesrly better place of women were in all of the positions of power to the exclustion of men, which I sometimes here well meaning people articulate, is a fundentally sexist way to view the world.
All victims deserve the right to be heard, and their claims taken seriously. That is a whataboutism proof stance, isn't it?