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Dumb/Funny Things That You Thought Were True When You Were a Kid....

CretanBullCretanBull Toronto
edited April 2020 in General
Prompted by a discussion that I had with some friends last night, what were some of the dumb things that you thought were true when you were a kid?  For example, a lot of kids thought that there were little people inside radios who performed the songs etc.

I'd forgotten all about this until last night...

When I was a kid we had pet goldfish that my older brother named Simon and Garfunkle.  Simon was the traditional orange colour and Garfunkle was white with orange blotches.  I was really young, probably like 5 years old but I didn't realize that "Simon" and "Garfunkle" were their names, I thought that's what kind of fish that they were.  For an embarrassingly long time (like maybe until I was 10!) I referred to every orange goldfish as a Simon.  My parents never corrected me because they assumed I was being cute by remembering my pet goldfish...like we'd go into a pet store and I'd say "Look at all the Simons!"

To make matters worse, I was aware of the band Simon & Garfunkle but I never clued into the fact that those were their names...I thought they named their band after the types of fish. 



JoshuaHeterJSDCAmajjam0770tpelzyFlukes

Comments

  • JoshuaHeterJoshuaHeter Omaha, NE
    One day as a kid it dawned on me that whenever we go to the airport, we take a right down our street. But, whenever we go downtown to the baseball game (in St. Louis), we go left down our street. That must mean when all the opposing MLB teams come to town, they go right by our house! Hmmm, I wonder why I’ve never seen any of the busses or limos pass.
    majjam0770CretanBull
  • asmallcatasmallcat
    I thought ATM's just gave you free money, and could not understand why parents were only getting $60. Get $5,000! It's free money!

    I also realized when I was like 27 that the song "I saw mommy kissing santa clause" wasn't about the mom cheating on the dad with santa. The dad was dressed as santa. 
    cdrivemajjam0770DummyCretanBullShumFlukesken hale
  • jhparkjhpark
    I thought there was a word cautified, a combination of cauterized and petrified, which meant that something had grown stale and obsolete.

    Then I saw the word codified.

    Oops.
    majjam0770CretanBull
  • majjam0770majjam0770
    I am from a Catholic family and my siblings and I all went to Catholic school.  We were pretty sheltered in our own community, weren't allowed to watch much TV, etc.  I knew some kids went to "Public" School so I thought that the world was divided into Catholics and Publics for awhile. 

    I learned my mistake when, after swimming during a vacation to the Ozarks, my aunt told me to rinse off in the "public" shower and I was like, "but we are Catholics, not Publics!"  She started laughing mercilessly and I immediately recognized my mistake (I think I was like 5 or 6 years old).  I swore my aunt to secrecy but she immediately went and told my mom and I was briefly the cause of much laughter amongst my whole extended family.  

    So I learned that the world was not quite the way I thought it was, and not to trust my gossipy aunt all in the same day.  
    DeeDummyCretanBull
  • HatorianHatorian Dagobah
    I thought going to college meant you were set for life.,..

    nah really 

    I always thought their was someone somewhere watching the traffic lights and switched them at the right time cuz I noticed they were switch when we approached and there was no cars coming from the other street. 

    Then In me showing some level of smartness i actually  figured out not too long later that those tiny lines and bumps we go over are sensors .
    ken hale
  • HatorianHatorian Dagobah
    edited April 2020

    Prompted by a discussion that I had with some friends last night, what were some of the dumb things that you thought were true when you were a kid?  For example, a lot of kids thought that there were little people inside radios who performed the songs etc.

    I'd forgotten all about this until last night...

    When I was a kid we had pet goldfish that my older brother named Simon and Garfunkle.  Simon was the traditional orange colour and Garfunkle was white with orange blotches.  I was really young, probably like 5 years old but I didn't realize that "Simon" and "Garfunkle" were their names, I thought that's what kind of fish that they were.  For an embarrassingly long time (like maybe until I was 10!) I referred to every orange goldfish as a Simon.  My parents never corrected me because they assumed I was being cute by remembering my pet goldfish...like we'd go into a pet store and I'd say "Look at all the Simons!"

    To make matters worse, I was aware of the band Simon & Garfunkle but I never clued into the fact that those were their names...I thought they named their band after the types of fish. 

    https://gfycat.com/lankyfemininealaskankleekai

    Eh. Don’t know why the gif didn’t come up but it’s the rick and morty “we’re free!” Little guys from the debiglator machine
    CretanBull
  • GiovanniGiovanni
    My grandfather was a blue collar worker (sanitation, parks cleanup etc.) and always voted Republican. As a kid I always thought the Republican party cared about the working class. What a sweet summer child I was. 
    darwinfeeshytpelzyhisdudeness915CretanBullEine Fraumajjam0770FreddyFlukesbizmarkiefaderJSDCAand 1 other.
  • darwinfeeshydarwinfeeshy
    When I was a kid, my family flew to Seattle. I thought we were going to see someone named Addle. "We're going to see Addle."

    Thought "play it by ear" was "play it by year"

    Thought "last ditch effort" was "last stitch effort"

    Thought George Foreman was some dude who sold grills, didn't know he was a boxer.

    tpelzyCretanBullmajjam0770Flukes
  • tpelzytpelzy Dallas
    When I was young my brother told me that Kobe Bryant was our cousin. He's not lol. Of course I never met him and no one else in the family ever mentioned it, but I definitely told a lot of people haha. However, a couple years ago I found out that my grandfather did know Kobe Bryant's dad back in the day. I've never asked my brother if that's kernel of truth where that came from, but I should. 
    NoelCretanBullFlukesken hale
  • BillBraskyBillBrasky
    The two dumbest and funniest things I believed as a kid were both things my Dad told me with a completely straight face (he loved to troll me).

    First, he said that small people (like elves) were inside street lights changing them and that is how they went from green to orange and red.  I didn't know how or why they changed and this satisfied my inquiry.

    And second, he told me that if you burped and farted at the same time all the air would go through your body and you would die.  This terrified me and not only did I make sure to never burp and fart at the same time, but I told all my friends not to as well.
    CretanBulltpelzyken hale
  • rhcooprhcoop Knoxville, Tn
    After watching Indiana Jones, Star Wars and reading comic books,  I spent a tremendous amount of time planning and working on how I would survive if I had to navigate an active lava flow at some point in my life.

    It hasn't been useful yet, but I know in my heart it will be someday. 

    30 Cool Dads That Did Parenting Right PICS Organic Traffic Service
    FlukestpelzyHatorianken haleGiovanniCretanBull
  • FreddyFreddy Denton, Texas
    edited April 2020
    rhcoop said:
    After watching Indiana Jones, Star Wars and reading comic books,  I spent a tremendous amount of time planning and working on how I would survive if I had to navigate an active lava flow at some point in my life.

    It hasn't been useful yet, but I know in my heart it will be someday. 

    30 Cool Dads That Did Parenting Right PICS Organic Traffic Service
    Ahh hell, the lava from Yosemite will never reach Knoxville.
    On a related note: I believed it all. Quicksand took you down. Lava absolutely destroyed everything it touched. You can have a conversation while parachuting. Dual wielded handguns were accurate and seldom needed reloading. And as long as you ate your vegetables, said your prayers, and chewed tobacco, you too could use an M134 Minigun as your walkin' around weapon.



    rhcoopFlukesCretanBull
  • rhcooprhcoop Knoxville, Tn
    Freddy said:
    rhcoop said:
    After watching Indiana Jones, Star Wars and reading comic books,  I spent a tremendous amount of time planning and working on how I would survive if I had to navigate an active lava flow at some point in my life.

    It hasn't been useful yet, but I know in my heart it will be someday. 

    30 Cool Dads That Did Parenting Right PICS Organic Traffic Service
    Ahh hell, the lava from Yosemite will never reach Knoxville.
    On a related note: I believed it all. Quicksand took you down. Lava absolutely destroyed everything it touched. You can have a conversation while parachuting. Dual wielded handguns were accurate and seldom needed reloading. And as long as you ate your vegetables, said your prayers, and chewed tobacco, you too could use an M134 Minigun as your walkin' around weapon.



    We all learned about the chew from documentary about the Predator. 
    FreddyCretanBull
  • HatorianHatorian Dagobah
    Freddy said:
    rhcoop said:
    After watching Indiana Jones, Star Wars and reading comic books,  I spent a tremendous amount of time planning and working on how I would survive if I had to navigate an active lava flow at some point in my life.

    It hasn't been useful yet, but I know in my heart it will be someday. 

    30 Cool Dads That Did Parenting Right PICS Organic Traffic Service
    Ahh hell, the lava from Yosemite will never reach Knoxville.
    On a related note: I believed it all. Quicksand took you down. Lava absolutely destroyed everything it touched. You can have a conversation while parachuting. Dual wielded handguns were accurate and seldom needed reloading. And as long as you ate your vegetables, said your prayers, and chewed tobacco, you too could use an M134 Minigun as your walkin' around weapon.



    Well my family is gonna have one hell of a show. They are just about 50 miles from the end of the secondary ash zone. Maybe less. 
  • ken haleken hale
    edited April 2020
    1) Since I never saw them flip the turn signals, I thought those blinking arrows were telling my parents where to go, and I wondered how the car knew the directions to my grandma's house.  (this was before gps, so I may have been on the precipice of an actual good idea).

    2) When I was about 6 or so I figured out, all on my own, that (SPOILER) Santa Claus isn't real.  I mean, flying reindeer? Come on, I'm smarter than that; plus we didn't even have a chimney, right?  But that did leave unanswered the question of who was actually giving us those gifts every year.  My brilliant little-kid theory was that they must let all the burglars out of jail on Christmas Eve to break into everyone's house and leave presents.
    CretanBulltpelzy
  • jluzaniajluzania Denver
    I thought East Asian people were considered white because I thought it was a much more literal description of skin tone.
    CretanBullmajjam0770
  • tom_gtom_g WV
    Until about 10, i thought the phrase was . . . 'It is a doggy dog world'.
    CretanBullken hale
  • fidozfidoz Houston
    Not sure this is funny or dumb but my first wife was a huge music theater/opera fan. I can't tell you the dozens of times I watched Andrea Bocelli perform on television without ever realizing he was blind. I just thought he closed his eyes when he sang. 
    CretanBullmajjam0770Freddy
  • CretanBullCretanBull Toronto
    fidoz said:
    Not sure this is funny or dumb but my first wife was a huge music theater/opera fan. I can't tell you the dozens of times I watched Andrea Bocelli perform on television without ever realizing he was blind. I just thought he closed his eyes when he sang. 
    I...umm...am just learning this now.   In my own defence, I've never paid any attention to opera music (I know who he is though and now realize that I should have clued in earlier!)
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