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I’m so sorry that you’re going through this. It’s probably the worst, most helpless feeling imaginable. The advice that was given to me during a similar time of need was trust in your doctors. But I wanna say this: trust your gut too. If you’re hearing something that doesn’t sound right or sit well, get a second opinion, push back. Don’t worry about being annoying or a nag— this is your spouse.
These days, things that would be grim back in the day are now treated more efficiently and effectively. Be there for your husband and let him know it’s ok to lean on you. When my wife was going through her health scare I needed to lean on her because I was scared and she said it helped her through the process because she knew I cared so much. So I think it would be ok to lean on him too. If there’s anything I can do, please let me know, but it’s really easy to think the worst when you hear this news initially, but it’s important to take it day by day and staying positive.
@Dee I appreciate you asking. She’s been doing a lot better and this morning was the first day she didn’t wake up in a lot of pain and didn’t reach for a Norco first thing. We finally have the wheels of the insurance industry turning and she’s had some video visits with a few nurses and finally a visit with a neurologist scheduled for Thursday. Fingers crossed!
Hey everyone, final update (hopefully): my wife was discharged and she’s doing a lot better. Honestly, the experience with the hospital we were at was an absolute nightmare. Granted, we had a wonderful experience when my wife gave birth there, but this recovery staff was terrible. To this day (3 days later) I still haven’t heard from a doctor or the hospital neurologist— only nurses (nothing against nurses, but they weren’t able to give me detailed info on aftercare, causes of my wife’s condition, etc.) I don’t know if my wife needs to stay in bed, can she do heavy lifting? (there’s chores to do.. kidding) When does she need a follow up appointment? What concerning signs should I be looking for? They literally just wheeled her out to me and shrugged their shoulders when I asked a bunch of questions. I wanted to get my wife home so I didn’t “ask for a manager” or anything. But I had about 10 calls into the doctor while she was staying there and escalated it with no call back. We are with Kaiser and the hospital she was at is out of network so they sent the prescription to an out of network pharmacy who is trying to charge $500 for 60 blood thinners. I tried calling the hospital back to transfer the prescription to our in-network pharmacy. “I’m sorry, we can’t because she’s already been discharged. Your wife should have given us the correct information when we asked”. “Mother fuckers, my wife was high on morphine, in pain, and almost had a stroke, I’m sorry if she wasn’t on the ball with her info. And I asked to be called for this type of stuff”. Also, shouldn’t I have been called when they were talking about doing a procedure on her? They were demanding she make a decision right then and there.. again, while they had her loaded up with morphine and fentynal.and 8 others.*heavy sigh*Regardless, she’s home, and in good shape and I’m so thankful for everyone’s well-wishes. It was such a huge support for me during these 3 days. Thank you again.
Update: she’s going to probably stay in the ICU until discharge which is estimated Sat morning. They did a procedure to check the blood vessel and they confirmed it tore and it clotted, but it didn’t clot in the “danger zone”. They have her on blood thinners and they’re confident it’ll dissolve the clot and she’ll be ok. She’s being taken good care of and I feel a bit better now that we know exactly the issue and the plan.and 6 others.
Hey everyone, my wife Madison was just admitted to the ICU with a brain vessel tear. I’m really scared and struggling to digest the news. The doctors say the specific kind of tear isn’t severe but they want to monitor her to catch a clot and prevent a stroke. This year has been awful and I know everyone has their own shit, but I’m having a hard time staying strong— especially for our daughter. I keep telling myself it’s going to be ok, but what if she’s one of the unlucky ones?— it just feels so helpless. I can’t even see her at all because of COVID and that’s a different level of fear and anger. You all have always put smiles on my face and have been there during past time of need— and I’m sorry to lean on you all again, I’m just scared.