Dee

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Dee
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  • Favorite moments or scenes from 2017 (Try to describe in a Non-Spoilery way)

    I watched the second series of Unforgotten very early in the year and there was a scene that has stuck in my brain all these months and the first thing I thought of reading this thread. It’s a crime mystery show so I don’t want to say much, but the scene is Mark Bonnar being interviewed by police and it is phenomenal. He shot straight to the top of my list of under-rated actors after seeing that. 

    (Also, people should watch Unforgotten because it’s bloody good.) 
    DaveyMac
  • Goddammit, Louis.

    Dee said:
    The perpetrators of the acts against men have still been men. This is an almost 100% male problem. Regards, “Someone” 
    Do you think this is almost 100% a male problem?  Let's see if I can articulate this without coming across like an asshole... I've been sexually harassed and groped on several occasions, two of which have been men, 4 have been women.  Now, I realize that this would be considered a shockingly low number of times were I a woman of equivalent age and status, AND it's a different dynamic in that in none of these instances did I feel unable to physically resist or any sort of danger aside from the awkwardness and general humiliation.  Having said that, shockingly low does not mean non-existent, and I kind of assumed that just out of some sort of general population curve some famous woman would have gotten caught up in this once it became clear this was a wave and not just one or two token effigies to burn.  I mean, aside from Brett Butler I can't think of any high profile Hollywood or business woman or politician who has ever been named, and that was an age ago. If you're correct that this is 100% a male problem, then obviously that explains that.  But, another thought is a dearth of women in positions of power to do shit like this and have it hushed and kept quiet.  So is it 100% male or yet another problem with representation, I guess is what I'm saying.

    On a somewhat related note, it seems like no one is really taking Terry Crews' groping story seriously.  They guy who grabbed his nuts at Adam Sandler's birthday party is back to work and has lost no clients and the president of the talent agency is pretending that all this is the first he's heard of it even though Terry has come forward with contemporary texts proving that he reported it.  I'm not sure if it's because he's a man, a particularly strong and tough man, or a black man, or all three but it's just not going anywhere.  Adam Venit is just running the old "getting away with it" playbook in a climate where nobody is getting away with running that, aside of course from the President and Senate hopeful Roy Moore.
    You’re not coming across as an arsehole at all, but I did say “almost” 100%. I stand by what I said though - yes, there are examples of women doing this, but women in positions of authority are steeped in the masculinity of those environments. 

    As for Terry Crews, it’s disgraceful that his abuser got basically a slap on the wrist. And poor Anthony Rapp has had abuse heaped on him for “causing” the cancellation of HoC (which has now been rescinded anyway), as though some fuckwit fans’ enjoyment is more important than a man who was molested as a teenage boy being able to publicly name his abuser. I definitely think there is a problem with male victims being taken less seriously, but again - toxic masculinity, man. What can I tell you. 
    SomeBiscuitPhoebes89DaveyMac
  • Goddammit, Louis.

    My wife and I were talking about the Louis story when the news broke (we've been talking about this quite a bit about this since the Weinstein story tipped the scales). She doesn't use Twitter, and I was mentioning that a lot of men were tweeting about feeling "surprised, disillusioned, dejected" etc. And her response was to shake her head. I asked her to elaborate, and she responded that every woman she's ever known has had to endure some measure of these kinds of things - from inappropriate comments to physical assault. Every woman.

    I'm currently raising a 7-year-old girl, and I think about (and worry about) this all of the time. How can I empower her to protect herself? How can I give her the inner strength to pick herself up after someone has demeaned her?
    I feel for you. I remember a conversation with my daughter when she was in her early teens, telling me how grown men would yell at her and her friends when they were walking to school (in school uniforms) to “show us your tits!” and so on. She told me it really scared her but that it happened all the time and she just had to deal with it. :-(

    And now at 19, pretty much every time she goes to a pub with her friends she will come home with a story about how some middle aged guy was trying to come on to them and wouldn’t go away. I don’t have any useful advice, unfortunately - this is the shit girls are subjected to daily. 
    TaraC73pavlovsbellhypergenesbDaveyMacA_Ron_Hubbard
  • Goddammit, Louis.

    It’s so hard and exhausting to get men to understand how women just live in this constant state of alertness. As long as they can consume their pop culture and it’s not personally affecting them, so many just don’t give a fuck. 
    pavlovsbellTaraC73gguenotakritenbrink
  • Goddammit, Louis.

    Thomas said:
    I don't really care.  Is this weird and wrong?  Yes.  Is it rape?  No.  I think the main reason why I don't care is because he came out and just admitted it, rather than deny it until the very end like every Republican politician and most of Hollywood.  I have to give him props for that.  Doesn't make what he did right, but I just don't really care.  There are far worse things going on in Hollywood right now.
    Well, you’re not a woman who has had this sort of thing happen, so why should you care. 
    JaimieTTaraC73gguenotamyja89akritenbrinkasmallcatGeorge